As a bit of a catch-up, the surgery went pretty well overall. My blood pressure pre-surgery was extremely high due to nervousness, I think around 176. I asked the assistants at what point they cancel a surgery due to blood pressure being too high; the answer was, "Whoa...you're not even in the ballpark. We frequently see in the 200's, etc." Well, good to know I have some wiggle room.
I was incredibly anxious as I was filling out paperwork, being called up to the desk a couple of times, and then eventually being called back for surgery prep. I do what I can to keep myself in check but I simply can't alter everything, hence the high blood pressure reading.
After changing into my robe but oddly being told to keep my jeans on (?), the anesthesiologist came in to meet with me. I explained my issues with anesthesia during my colonoscopy and asked if I could possibly be put out before being wheeled into the OR. He looked at me very oddly and said, um, no, that's completely out of the ordinary. I then asked to be sure that I was given enough anesthesia to make sure I was completely out during the procedure and he said, "Oh, you'll most likely be awake during it." Of course, my blood pressure probably shot up another 20-30 points because this contradicted what everyone had told me previously. He then went on to explain that I'll be completely out when they put the needle below my eye socket, which will basically completely numb that eye and black out my vision, and then I'll most likely awaken while they're doing the rest of the procedure. He saw the look of horror on my face and immediately started talking me off of the ledge: "Oh, you won't feel anything or see anything. You'll be so groggy that it won't matter one way or another to you." I still wasn't buying it and so he jotted a few notes down, grimaced slightly, and said, "Hey, I'll be there the whole time. You'll be fine." I honestly wasn't so assured.
Next came one of the things I always dread the most - the person putting the IV in your arm or hand. I lucked out this time because the lady was super nice and kind, and also very compassionate about my nervousness. I asked if the IV would be in my arm and she said, "No, I was going to put it in your hand." Again, my blood pressure must have raised yet another 20-30 points since they were giving me all the wrong answers, in my opinion at least. I explained to her how for the colonoscopy that it took 3 nurses to hold me down while they placed it in my hand, and I was basically screaming and couldn't hold my hand steady. She thought about it a minute and then changed course. "Let's put it in your wrist, then." This was a new one for me but I wasn't sure what my recourse was at this point.
She then went on to tell me that she's very good at this, does it X times a day, and that I shouldn't really feel anything because she uses Lidocaine. Now, this didn't mean much to me but I was sure that the previous time nothing was used to help the pain so who knows. I felt the initial prick but it wasn't much worse than getting your blood drawn, and then she used the Lidocaine, and by the time she put the IV in she was absolutely correct for I didn't feel a thing. Wow. Mental note = Lidocaine. And so, that trauma actually ended up being quite okay.
Next came the obligatory but worrisome "do you have a will?" and "do you have any visitors that you want to say goodbye to before the surgery?" sort of thing. You know, the types of things that really give you comfort. After that, I was placed in a wheelchair and given a nice little ride through the hallways and over to the OR.
This was my very first time ever being in an OR, apart from birth, that is, hence my nervousness. Strangely, in hindsight now, it doesn't seem anywhere near as nerve wrecking as I had imagined. I got up off the wheelchair, said hello to all the people involved, laid down, got "comfortable", and then it was like completely lights out, meaning there was no warning or anything...I was simply gone. I then woke up and it was exactly as the anesthesiologist had explained, where my right eye had absolutely no vision and I felt not a thing except for a mild tugging here and there as the doctor worked on my eye. I kept making a strange low moaning sound because that's all I could muster but overall the procedure was pretty non-concerning. This went on for awhile, I heard them talking in the room and having a conversation as they worked, and then there was a moment where it was similar to the Three Stooges routine where the doctor said, "Gas on....gas off", or something like that, as they started filling my eye with the gas to replace the original fluid in it. Shortly after, the doctor said, "That's it...you're done." Gobs of tape and other things were put on my eye and I was wheeled out, completely doped to the nth degree.
I stayed in the recovery area for a bit where they started rattling off instructions that I knew I wouldn't retain whatsoever due to my dopiness. I also started the face down positioning at this point. Then, I was wheeled out by a large friendly guy who took me down to the waiting area on the side of the road where I could be picked up.
The whole ride home was a complete blur. It's about a 45 minute ride but it felt like 5 minutes, that's how out of it I was. Upon getting home, I started the endless problem of trying to get comfortable in a face down position of which I can now say is close to impossible. In fact, I rented a special chair, bought a handful of special pillows from Amazon, etc., and none of these seemed to really work. It took me about 2 days to finally realize that just using standard bedding pillows, more or less hanging off the side of the bed so that I can watch movies on my laptop, and so on, was better than any of the alternatives. So, you read it here, folks...if you're going to have a vitrectomy and need to be in a face down position for a week, I personally wouldn't bother with any of the BS that's on the market. Just grab some comfy pillows and whatever device you prefer and hang off the bed in order to fill your time. Sleeping, however, is a whole different issue. Due to my tremendous back problems, this was a real torture for me until I figured out that I needed to use muscle relaxers each night. Even so, the positioning was awful and gave me loads of pain in my back that I can't even begin to describe. I slept very little for days and kept constantly waking up every 20 minutes.
And so, in the end, I was correct in my thinking...the actual surgery wasn't that big of a deal but the recovery is killer. My eye looked like I had been severely beaten up by a gang on a street corner, with both eyelids super swollen to where I couldn't even open my eye, and the actual eye itself so red and blood filled that you couldn't really see the iris or pupil of my eye. The pain seemed to get worse as the week progressed, probably due to lack of sleep. My eye socket continually throbbed for days. At this point, I'm back upright thankfully but my eye is still pretty red on one side although the iris and pupil are now visible. My actual eyesight, however, is another story. The gas bubble is now only in the lower part of my vision but the upper area is not only blurred but also out of sync with my left/good eye which makes pretty much everything challenging. This is what has me worried at this point.
On the plus side, I did watch tons and tons of horror movies all week long, some of which were super enjoyable and ones I had never seen before. My personal fav's from the week were "Frankenhooker", a must see for anyone who likes weird horror comedy from the 80's, and "Mr. Vampire", one of the Hong Kong vampire movies that I didn't even know were a thing. Other notables were "Bordello of Blood" and the "Terrifier" films which are beyond disgusting. I also revisited the "Psycho" sequels, some "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" films, and the remaining films in the "Phantasm" series that I hadn't seen. I dare say that I kind of enjoyed watching the films although seeing them downward is an odd experience indeed. I certainly can attest to why the inventors of TV thought that it made more sense to watch it on the wall versus on the floor. It's also astounding to note how, when recovering from eye surgery, how many horror movies have something in them having to do with poking or gouging eyes out. It's not exactly comforting at that moment, as you can imagine.
That's pretty much catching everything up to now. If anyone ever needs info about detached retinas or Mohs procedures, I'm unfortunately your guy since I'm slowly becoming an expert in both, albeit an unwilling one.
