Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Brushed

I woke up in a panic around 2am to the sound of a strange whirring sound loudly emanating from apparently the master bathroom sink.  What the hell?!  It is a fairly new faucet but since when do faucets make noise when not on?!  Turning the faucet on/off seemed to do the trick...for about 10 seconds.  Then, it started again.

Everything you buy these days seems to be complete trash.  It was bad enough pre-pandemic; post pandemic has made it feel like you're buying goods from some stranger in a trench coat standing on a street corner.  To make the jab in the crotch even worse, they've upped the price on everything.  Great times.

More whirring, more jiggling, and then I decided to turn the water off at the faucet.  Still whirring.  Wtf?!  Then, I realized that the faucet has 2 separate water lines to turn off.  With both off, I thought I had it...and then more whirring.

It was then that I realized that it was NOT the faucet but my Sonicare Toothbrush which sits directly to the left of the faucet.  Yes, this is what happens when you get woken up at 2am and you're completely out of it.  For whatever reason, the toothbrush, which I probably had about 6-7 years, decided to completely lose it's mind and was turning on and off at random.  Wow.

So, what do you DO about this?  I mean, there's literally only one button on the toothbrush, of which pushing it was doing almost no good, and no port to pull out the battery, etc.  It was a fantastic puzzle to encounter now around 2:20am on a weeknight.  And so, I pondered, trying to figure out what the hell to do.  I came up with 2 poor solutions, climbed back into bed, then thought about it a bit more, then left the bed again and tried a different solution.  This happened 2-3 more times.  Finally, I decided to get a towel, lay it in a storage bin, place the bin in the car's trunk outside, and leave it there overnight, hoping desperately that the toothbrush doesn't overheat and catch fire, or blow up.  It was the only solution I could come up with in a panic that a) didn't make noise that I could hear and b) wouldn't bother the neighbors since you couldn't hear it running with the trunk lid down.  Now, if it DID blow up, well, that probably would annoy the neighbors...but I had run out of ideas.

I got back into bed around 3:30am and, as you may have guessed, was filled with nothing but anxiety at this point, worrying about a stupid toothbrush with no on/off switch.  I tossed and turned for hours but at least I knew the house wasn't on fire and the car hadn't blown up.  I ended up getting about a total of 4 hours sleep that night.  I'm still feeling the residual lethargy.

That's it for me.  I hope life is treating everyone well, and all I can say is beware of those rogue Sonicare's.  I finally ended up hitting that damn thing with a hammer the next day to get the battery out and disconnected.  It almost seems like a good metaphor...for something.