Damn Your Eyes!

You may have noticed that I've been rather quiet lately.  This is simply because I've had way too many distractions going on, and whereas I wouldn't say that I haven't been productive at all, I'm not exactly tearing it up either.

First up, my nose...  I got the stitches removed last Wednesday, and whereas I had already seen the wound and what's now considered my "nose" (or new nose, if you will), I was finally able to see pretty much how my nose was healing and what to expect going forward.  She wasn't kidding...my nose does look a bit different and skinnier now.  I'd also dare say that it looks pointier, which isn't really what I was hoping for, but maybe it'll heal a bit differently.  I used to have a great nose, or at least I thought so.  I also noticed that my glasses now sit just ever so slightly in a different manner on the bridge of my nose.  Once the stitches were removed, they basically glued Steri strips over the top of the wound from which I'm to wait until they fall off naturally (which hasn't yet occurred).

We also chatted a bit about my ear which is next up for the Mohs procedure.  Dare I say that it freaks me out a bit.  There's talk of skin grafts, a large bandage literally sewn to my ear for over a week, not being able to shower or get it wet, and so on.  Sounds awful.  Clearly, I won't be sleeping on that side of my body for quite some time let alone wearing headphones.  I also keep worrying that a big chunk of my ear cartilage will now be missing, sort of like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece.

As if my nose and ear worries aren't enough, my eyes have also been freaking out lately.  I think it's this time of year that plays pure havoc on them since in SoCal, along the ocean, we go through what they call "May Gray" and then "June Gloom", just a fancy way of saying that it's basically overcast every single day for at least half the day if not all of it.  Something about the darker skies mixed with how the light hits the house seems to make my eyes on full alert.  I've been pretty paranoid over the past 30 days that something was going on with them.

Last night, my eyes were really showcasing a large floater to a huge degree.  And then, this morning, I awoke to the same hazy blurry vision in my left eye (my so called used to be "good eye") as I've had in my right eye since the whole retinal detachment.  I have a bad feeling that my retina is detaching right now in my left eye.  Not only is this alarming as is but if it's so, well, there's goes my recording week, not to mention apparently I will never see clearly again.  I spent the day trying to get some stuff done and not focusing on my eye issue but it was nearly impossible since the haziness is just absurd.  It was hard enough with one good eye and one bad eye, but now they're both going to be bad eyes?  Ugh.  The only way I can describe what I'm seeing is to imagine a piece of Saran Wrap, about the size of a dime, and having it float quickly back and forth across your eyeballs, coupled maybe with a hair or two in it and a bunch of tiny little dots.  Yep, that's pretty much it.

Of course, today is a holiday so there's clearly no one at the doctor's office.  I guess I'll be calling first thing in the morning to see if I can get in there.  The downside either way is that they'll dialate my eyes and I won't be able to see for hours up close and so I can't really see my being too terribly productive.  However, if there's any hope of not having to get a needle in the eye again, and having to lay on my side for a week straight, I'm all for it but I dare say that my hopes aren't very high.  My gut tells me that they're simply going to tell me to wait until it completely detaches.  Again, awesome.

I hope everyone else has had a pleasant holiday weekend.  Here's to hoping that the retina doctor can somehow help me out tomorrow.

The Nose Knows

I received a phone call yesterday afternoon where the voice on the other end said, "You're in luck!  We had a cancellation tomorrow and so you can come in tomorrow for your first procedure."  The 'first procedure' in question is the first of probably eight Mohs procedures, basically to remove the small skin cancer bumps off of my head and face.  I particularly found the "...you're in luck..." part interesting because I frequently say that I'm the unluckiest person on Earth, meaning I never win anything.  It seems about the only thing I can "win" is an earlier appointment for removing half of my nose.

Well, okay, that's a slight exaggeration, really, but they did want to start with the bump on my nose.  After a series of long discussions on that phone call, most of which I was very reluctant to bump up the appointment date, the doctor herself finally called me and more or less strong armed me into it.  And so, I went to sleep last night with mild anxiety, not sleeping much at all, mentally preparing for this appointment today where they'd start hacking at my nose.

I now sit here typing with an extremely large bandage across my nose and the front of my face.  The numbness wore off about two hours ago and I was slightly shocked to see just how much this wound actually hurt.  I've never had a broken nose but I can only imagine that it feels rather similar.  It kind of feels like someone went over my nose with a large cheese grater about 25 times.  I'm apparently going to have some sort of line on my nose as well, basically the scar, and the doctor also said "your nose will be thinner looking".  I never thought of myself as a fat nosed individual, mind you, but I got her point.  I'm sort of wondering if I'm now going to have a crooked nose, ala Owen Wilson?  It would be cool if it would always point, say, north, or something special like that but that's probably too much to ask.

I also can't decide if I look more like Humphrey Bogart in "Dark Passage", right after the guy breaks his nose in order to have it set in an unrecognizable manner since he's running from the cops, or Marcia Brady just after the football hit her in the face.  Either way, I guess my nose will now be different going forward.  I'm thinking I should have taken more pictures of it along the way.  Heck, I'm already missing my old nose.

I can now also say, not proudly, really, that I've had the experience of multiple needles in my nose and my eye.  Next up, will be the cells on my ear.  Sigh.  Getting old is hell.  Strangely, all I could think about as they were hacking and sewing my nose today was the scene at the end of "Sleeper", where Woody Allen has stolen the leaders nose and is threatening to shoot it with a gun.

On the music front, my mixes from last weekend do in fact sound much better, and I was super pleased to hear that the live basement tracks sound quite wonderful through the stereo.  I think we'll be seeing a release of these fairly soon.  See?  At least there's some good news.  Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face...

Still Digging

I can't say that I'm yet back in the realm of normal music work but I'm certainly trying.  I did manage to accomplish one of the last big tasks on my "to do" list around the house so hopefully that'll free me up both mentally and literally to focus much more on music creation.  My week off is fast approaching so I need to really get my proverbial sh*t together.  My finger is not doing well so I have a feeling that I will indeed be seeing a hand specialist fairly soon.

I don't want to go off too much on a tangent but I must say that the state of film and television really truly disappoints me.  I'm actually in fear that film in general is slowly being destroyed as a format and this both terrifies me and makes me incredibly sad.  These are very strange days that we're living in, to say the least, and it's sad that even the few things that I really enjoy are being destroyed before my eyes.

Being a bit bored and morbidly curious, I decided to watch the first episode of "Yellowjackets" of which I keep hearing about on commercials and such.  Episode one was free...to lure you in, of course, and I actually really liked it.  I was really glad to see that it didn't have the usual bullsh*t writing that I can't stand in most modern TV series and it actually held my interest.  So, I decided to plunk down the $11 to try a month of Showtime.  Well, wouldn't you know...episode 2 almost immediately made me want to vomit and I don't think I'll be continuing with the show.  How do people a) watch this stuff and b) find it so compelling, especially to "binge" watch?  This is a total mystery to me, much more of a mystery than what apparently "actually happened" out there to the Yellowjackets.  Binge watching in general makes zero sense to me, and might possibly be one of the dumbest things ever, in my opinion.  I mean, if you happen to like something, why burn through it?  Senseless.  Also, I can't help but wonder if this is some new subscription ploy, where the networks are either getting good writers to write the initial episode, just to suck you in, and then revert to the usual silliness, where the B or C strings writers take over and can't seem to understand how actual human dialogue would work in the real world.

Even worse, I decided to try the first episode of Prime's new "Dead Ringers".  I barely made it 10 minutes into it; I actually almost stopped at the opening scene.  Again, why/how do people watch this?!  I'm rather shocked that Rachel Weisz would want to be part of a such a poorly written series.

Lastly, if you need more proof that movies have gone into the toilet completely, I just happened upon a trailer for a film, no joke, called "Winnie the Pooh:  Blood and Honey".  Um...there are no words for this one, and if you haven't already watched the trailer, you simply must, just for the groan factor.  I'll give you a hint...it's a horror movie :)  Yeah, it's supposed to be THAT Winnie the Pooh.  Apparently, this is just what the world needs right now, and angry, axe wielding Winne the Pooh.  And, people ask me why I supposedly waste my time watching old Sherlock Holmes films and such...?

If that's not enough for you, Tommy Wiseau of "The Room" fame (if that's what you call it) has apparently been given another shot at making a movie.  Why?  I have no clue.  The new one is called "Big Shark" and is apparently about a huge land shark attacking New Orleans.  I know - makes you want to run right out and see it, huh?  Sigh.  I think we're doomed (actually, I'm pretty sure of it).