Gearing Up

Another semi-wasted weekend has passed but at least it gave me a chance to get out a bit, do some shopping, and so on.  COVID lockdown seems to be letting up more and more each day, and whether or not that's a good thing remains to be seen.  I'm not doing too much, mind you, but after doing almost nothing for a year I am at least venturing out a bit more.  Sometimes it's out of a bit of necessity.  For example, my desk chair is essentially falling apart and so I needed to find a replacement.  It sounds easy, I know, but in this day and age good luck.  Items that have always been no-brainers suddenly seem to be impossible to find, at least where they last more than a month.

Also, with COVID restrictions lifting, I'm beginning to think harder about what kind of live music I would like to be playing.  My voice remains pretty unreliable and so I'm really favoring getting 2-3 different instrumental based groups together.  I'm hoping to get something started maybe later this year.

Over the weekend, I decided to venture out briefly towards the coast.  It was great seeing it again, with the waves wildly crashing against the shore due to the wind, while tons of people were out doing their thing at the beach.  It's gorgeous over here and it makes me so incredibly grateful to be able to live in such a beautiful part of the country; I only wish I took advantage of it more.

My eye situation is about the same.  It seems to fluctuate on a daily basis, sometimes leaving me where I have a very hard time focusing out of my right eye while other times it seems fairly normal.  No matter what the situation, though, the floater in that eye can be fairly prevalent, and after looking through it awhile it gets a bit maddening but at least it's hanging in there.  Luckily, my "other" medical problems haven't yet reared their ugly head anywhere near as much as they were earlier in the year.  For me, it helps to try to deal with only one thing at a time but we're rarely given that luxury.

Growing older is definitely hell.  It's at least been my experience that life post 40 years old basically consists of having some sort of weird sudden symptoms, going to a short series of medical appointments (that are pretty much always a verdict of "you seem fine"), and then, provided you're still alive, doing it all over again...and again...and again.  I can only imagine that this is the way life will continue until...well, you know.

Well, that's enough of that for now.  I'm hoping to get back to recording this coming holiday weekend so we'll see how that goes!

Things are Sort of Quiet

I don't have much of an update on anything at the moment since I'm still trying to get into the swing of things again.  My eye "healed", and I use that term loosely since I still continue to have trouble seeing out of that eye.  This is nothing new, mind you, for I've been having issues with it since 2005.  I am incredibly paranoid, though, that the retina will tear again and then this whole process will start all over.  Or, worse yet, what if I lose vision in it altogether?  These are the thoughts running through my mind daily these days.

As previously stated, I had to lie on my side pretty much the entire week after the outpatient surgery.  This sounds easy albeit a bit boring but it came with an unintended side effect:  it completely threw my back out.  I've had back issues much longer than I've had eye issues and this ended up being one of the harshest back pulls I've had in many years.  I'm still trying to get it back (hah, hah)...but seriously, my back has yet to completely calm down and return to what I think of as my normal weak back-ness/pain so there's a lot of sudden yelping going on as I move around the house.

Lying on your side for a week is actually a bit of a trick as well.  It wouldn't be so bad if you could lay down in a normal position but instead it's all about your head placement.  I needed my head to be positioned almost completely on it's side and trying to do anything in this position is quite a task.  Even watching TV is bizarre in this position.  Typing was almost completely out of the question and so lying there and doing nothing was pretty much the solution.  For once, it's fortunate that time passes quickly at my age and so it went by rather quickly.

That's about all I've got at the moment.  I'll try and write some more maybe in the next few days.

Torn

Well, everything's come to a grinding halt, at least for the moment.  I had plans to be productive this past weekend but alas I was not.  I'm trying to wrap everything up with the Jazz Machine album by July and the clock is starting to tick rather loudly.

So, why was I 'lazy'?  Well, I apparently tore my retina in my right eye :(  I've had issues in this eye since around 2005, and being a computer worker by day I tend to get a decent amount of eye pain and strain at various times of the years.  I've suffered from floaters in that eye pretty much my entire life but they got much worse in 2005, shortly after a minor car accident where I was rear ended, enough so that it totaled my car.  I'm now thinking that may have affected my eye issues more than I ever thought.

About 2 weeks ago, I was simply walking to the mail box when I thought I saw a bolt of lighting across the sky.  I found it strange because a) it was sunny out and b) we don't get a lot of lighting out here in general.  Then it happened again, and again, and then I realized that it was a large floater in my eye that appeared to be slightly lit up.  Then, my vision got pretty cloudy, more floaters came, and my concern grew, enough that I went to the eye doctor the first thing the following morning (which, btw, you shouldn't actually do...you should go to at least Urgent Care and not wait on it).  The eye doctor said he didn't see any retinal tears and that it was probably just aging.  Oh, okay...  And so, I went about my business, all the while with my vision severely worse than it's ever been and having a bit of minor eye pain.

It wasn't until a week later, this past Friday, that I realized that there was a fairly large black spot or hole in my vision in that eye when I looked to the extreme right (the spot was on the extreme left side).  It also felt odd when I'd do that...kind of hard to explain but it sort of felt like the pain of a muscle strain.  After doing a few internet searches, it sounded bad enough that I should immediately get back to the eye doctor.

I went somewhere else this time, which was probably a good decision, and that doctor found the tear after quite a bit of searching, and immediately sent me to the retina specialist, all against the clock since it was 4pm on a Friday and they closed normally at 5pm.  They got me in, looked inside my eye, and before I knew it they were jabbing my eye with a needle to numb it, then freeze it, and then place gas bubbles in there, a therapy that basically causes a bit of weight inside your eye so that the vitreous reattaches to the retina.  The whole procedure took about 10 minutes.  It sounds awful when you say or write it; much to my surprise, I really didn't feel a damn thing and it wasn't that bad at all, and this is all coming from one of the most squeamish people out there.

And so, I've been pretty much laying on my side ever since, literally for over 90 hours now, with only small moments of getting up and moving around.  It's been interesting to say the least.  The retina apparently reattached fairly quickly but it needs many hours in order to "cement" again inside the eye and hence I'll be lying here for approximately a week.  So, no guitar playing, recording, or even day job working...

If all comes out well, meaning I can see normally again, I won't really complain.  This does put my time line for Jazz Machine a bit in jeopardy, though.  I guess, at least for once, I have a truly valid excuse if I don't make it...

The 2020 Vote Is In!

 Well, I survived another year!  The 2020 Spirit Awards ballot is due today at 5pm and I just submitted my own personal ballot this morning.  Per my count, I watched 32 movies this go-round for the period of February 26th - April 8th.  It was actually one of the easiest years to do this since they gave us more time than usual, of which I greatly appreciate.  I think we normally only get about 5 weeks to watch the films and it usually forces me to do several marathon watching binges which I really don't prefer.

I'll post my 2020 film picks fairly soon but I have a few more movies to get through first that are not on the Spirit Awards list.  Overall, the gist of the 2020 Spirit Awards film selection is that 95% of the films were good to great, and that's kind of phenomenal, to be frank.  I usually sit through at least 3-4 that I perceive as real clunkers that make me moan in agony for one reason or another.  This year, the only movie that I would say that I really despised was the much applauded "Dick Johnson is Dead", and it was ironically the first film I watched, starting everything on a bad tone which thankfully didn't persist.  Perhaps it's a matter of opinion but I just don't understand why anyone would find that film either interesting or entertaining, and how you can overlook the exploited opportunistic aspect of the film is mind boggling to me, hence my low opinion of it.  It was this years' "For Sama" for me, a film from last years' list that really sent me over the edge that everyone else seemed to really like.

For more info on the films I watch(ed), please check out my page on Letterboxd.com where all the gory details exist.

New Sun Chips Chili Lime Flavor - the Verdict?

 I found these in the snack aisle the last time I was at a major grocery retailer.  I'm a big fan of Sun Chips, and anyone who knows me really well will tell you that I'm a sucker for trying pretty much anything new when it comes to weird flavors and such.  Since this checked both boxes, well, I immediately grabbed them off the shelf.

So, what's the verdict?  Upon tasting the initial chip, I was taken aback just a bit.  I felt like my mouth had been overwhelmed with salt and intense flavor which is a bit unusual since one of the things that I've always loved about Sun Chips in general is that they're not too terribly strong.  The new Chili Lime flavor apparently is breaking that tradition, though, and the flavor was, to put it simply, rather intense.

I try not to comment too much until I've really had a chance to digest something completely (pun intended) but I think I've formed my overall opinion on Chili Lime Sun Chips.  To be blunt, although they got a bit more tolerable the more I ate them, they basically taste like someone wetted a plain Sun Chip and then dipped it in a packet of taco seasoning meant for ground meat, enough so that it completely covers the chip and hence providing the overwhelming flavor.  If that idea appeals to you, you'll love them and you should immediately run out and make the purchase.  For me personally, though, I think I'll stick with either the plain or the other flavors.  Verdict = nogo!

You Belong to Me

 I think it's time that I made a rather terrible confession.  I...um...am rather obsessed with...um...Carly Simon.  Okay, there, I admitted it.

It's a bit embarrassing, I know.  I've been listening to a ton of 70's styled pop lately mixed with some early 80's pop.  Carly Simon.  Linda Ronstadt.  Stephen Bishop.  Jackson Browne.  Am I just showing my age?  Perhaps.  Maybe I've finally crossed into that land of being truly old.  Sigh.

Back to Carly...  I don't know what it is but there's just somethin'.  And, to be completely honest, I got my first Carly album, "The Best of Carly Simon", for free back in the days of the Columbia House/BMG 10 CD's for 1 penny days.  I kind of got it on a lark and never thought I'd actually like it.  However, about 2 minutes into the opening track, the classic "That's the Way I've Always Heard it Should Be", one of the true greats, in my opinion, and my jaw completely hit the floor.  This was back around 2000 maybe?  So, yeah, I wasn't really that old and I was already hooked.

I will never forget talking about this embarrassment back then at work with this much older lady named Margaret.  She immediately said, "Oh, yeah, Carly Simon!  I don't know what it is but every time she comes on the radio my husband goes ape sh*t."  I'm not making that up...those were her exact words, and this from a woman that I had never even heard swear before, although maybe she did a lot and I was just never around to hear it.  Regardless, I guess I'm kind of in the same club as her husband.

I just recently picked up "Boys in the Trees", now that I've fully accepted that I'm probably going to buy at least every single earlier album of hers.  I had "No Secrets" on my phone for well over a year and would walk almost daily to it.  I just never got sick of it.  Call me crazy but I think "The Right Thing to Do" is quite possibly one of my favorite songs of all time and I find myself singing it around the house almost daily.

My newest favorite which never fails to stop me in my tracks is "You Belong to Me".  I mean, what the hell?  Maybe I've completely lost my mind, I don't know, but I simply love this song.  I mean, I treat this song like other people would treat some hard rocking anthem from somebody like AC/DC.  I must have lost it.

She has tons of goofy and terribly cheesy tunes as well but somehow I can overlook it which is pretty unusual for me.  Strangely, I can't stand James Taylor, her husband back then, who happens to sing on quite a few tracks and what I'd consider almost ruin them.  It's just something about that voice of hers and especially her harmonies.  Did I mention that it all started because of the new age artist Andreas Vollenweider?  I got his album "Eolian Minstrel" also from the Columbia House days and there's a song on it called "Private Fires" that Carly sings lead vocals on.  All I can say is that it's been one of the most haunting songs to me ever since I first heard it around 1996 and this is what eventually led me to get the greatest hits album.

Maybe I've just always been an old soul?  I remember back in the early 90's, back when I was in my 20's only, where this guy I worked with did a massive double take when he asked what I was currently listening to at home, and my response was Al Stewart.  He laughed, thinking I was joking, looked uncomfortable when he realized I wasn't, and then said in a snarky manner, "You know, I just have a hard time seeing you 'rockin' out' to Al Stewart on a Friday night."  I thought to myself, well, you don't know me very well, now, do you?  I still 'rock out' to Al Stewart, in fact I still consider "Between the Wars" one of the all time greats.

Well, thanks for listening and allowing me to tell my deep dark 'secret'.  I feel slightly better.  I'm actually considering writing/recording a 70's pop styled album in the near future.  If that happens, then you'll know that I've completely lost it.

Spirit Awards Madness Returns Tomorrow

 As a member of Film Independent, an organization and membership that I simply can't recommend enough to any cinephile, we're about to kick off the 2021 Spirit Awards frenzy of movie watching tomorrow.  Basically, the Spirit Awards are sort of like an independent film version of the Academy Awards, and they're shown on IFC every year, normally around February.  This year, everything is pushed back a bit due to COVID and I believe they'll be shown at the end of April.  They're kind of unique because the members of Film Independent are the sole voters on what films get 95% of the awards.  Since I take film very seriously, I try to watch every single film that they send me so that I can properly vote, and that more or less means taking in around 30 film in 30 days each year.  It's a bit exhausting but also rather fulfilling since you watch things you'd probably never watch or know about otherwise.

What's my point?  It means that my time will be balanced over the next month with watching movies.  I know, just what I need, right?!  I have a hard enough time juggling work, music, writing, etc., and now let's throw movie watching in the mix.  It's almost like I'm punishing myself.

I have a few other blog entries that I have written in my head but yet have committed to the computer.  Perhaps I'll get to those soon before they altogether disappear.

Other than that, the "Mirror Land" artwork is basically done and I've been fooling around with coming up with logos and other odds and ends.  It's a lot to take in all at once.  I wish I had the funds to hire someone.  Wouldn't that be grand?

I'm Still Alive

No, the title of this post has nothing to do with COVID-19.  I mean, I guess it kind of does...I have not gotten COVID-19, etc., but it's more about the lack of posts over the (gulp!) last four years.  In truth, I've been meaning to transfer my blogging over to a different platform, and therefore stopped writing back in 2017 with that full intention.  Time got away from me once again, though, and so here I am, four years later, still touching this old volume of thoughts and observations.  I figured something is better than nothing at this point.  I also have a lot of news to share so I needed some sort of forum.

2020 was of course a very strange and trying year for us all on so many different levels.  Being an introvert to the max (I prefer the term 'home body', btw), the 'not seeing people' thing really didn't affect me that much since I prefer my alone time.  My creative spirit was in full force, though, and I made the goofy decision to begin recording yet another album, this one being an instrumental album, even though my list of unfinished recordings in the proverbial hopper is beyond words (let's just say that I run out of fingers when counting how many albums there are).  The good news is that the new instrumental album is pretty far along and I'm thinking it just may be released by summer.  I'm so far very pleased with and excited by the results.

In other news, I missed the 20th anniversary of my first recorded album/instrumental album "Lost Weekend" but I've been working diligently on remixing it.  I'm hoping to see it get the full treatment for the first time ever, hopefully sounding way better than the original (and maybe looking better as well).  I'll be talking about this more in days to come.

Lastly, the "Mirror Land" EP which has been sitting around waaaaay too long is my first and main priority right now.  It's only 3 songs and they're all from my very early days (would you believe 1989 - 91?) but I'm actually very pleased with it.  They're probably three of my favorite and best tracks from the early days, hence they needed to see the light of day at long last.  Look for that hopefully soon.

That's it for now.  Stay safe and be creative; it can be a real lifesaver.