Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Thought from the Hole

I went to see the film “Rabbit Hole” last night at my favorite local theater, the Landmark Theatre in Edina. It’s a slightly older theater that just seems to evoke the right atmosphere for indie/foreign/art films, and it doesn’t hurt that Landmark’s popcorn is, in my opinion, the best of the best. Another advantage of the theater, especially midweek or at off times, is that it’s hardly ever extremely crowded.

I arrived earlier than normal, like about thirty minutes early. This was unusual for me since, over the past few years, I’ve been more of a five minute early sort of individual, sometimes intentionally, depending upon the theater, so that I don’t have to sit through 20 minutes of bad commercials and previews that mean literally nothing to me. This issue really doesn’t apply to the Landmark Theatres, though, and is really only the case when I’m going to an AMC, or especially the local Carmike Theatre (don’t even get me started on that one…). To be honest, I’m normally either right on time or slightly late to the Edina Theatre simply due to the location being difficult to get to during traffic hours. I went to a 7:30pm showing last night, though, so traffic was not an issue and hence how I get there so quickly.

Upon arriving, I found that I was the first one there. I decided to sit and wait in the theater a bit before venturing out for my obligatory popcorn and Coke feast. I waited until ten minutes before show time to get up and venture out to the lobby. I was surprised to see that very few people had shown up in the end and it was, by all means, going to be a practically empty theater.

After getting my refreshments, I went back to the theater, took approximately the same seat that I had before, and just then the lights happened to go off, signifying the start of the previews. Ah, this was going to be great! There wasn’t anyone anywhere near me, the theater was practically empty, etc. Perfect!

About two minutes later, not looking behind me, mind you, I could hear two ladies venture in to the theater simply due to how loud they were. ‘Oh goodness,’ I thought to myself, ‘please don’t sit behind me.’ Yes, sure enough, talking all the way down the aisle, saying things like “do you want to sit here” and “is this okay”, they simply had to sit directly behind me. The theater…heck, I don’t know…maybe holds 500 people? There were about 10 people total in the entire theater and still these two ladies had to sit right behind me. Worse yet, they reeked of wine, I mean, to the point that I could smell their breath clear as a bell while sitting in front of them.

I tried being optimistic. ‘Well,’ I thought, ‘maybe they’ll quiet down once they get settled.’ Er, no. Now, the previews were still going, mind you, but they were doing the low whisper thing, literally holding a conversation amongst themselves but at a whisper styled level. This might have been fine normally except that when someone is right behind you, well, the whisper is really no longer a whisper. Hmm… ‘Maybe they’ll stop once the movie begins,’ I tried to console myself. Again, er, no.

“Rabbit Hole”, if you don’t know, is a movie about the grief that a couple experiences after the loss of their son. It’s a quieter sort of movie filled with a lot of space, silence, and thought provoking moments….all of which these two ladies were evidently going to converse through. About 5 minutes into the movie, I turned my head around and gave them the “look”, as in, “please be quiet…you’re in a movie theater, for crying out loud”. I heard one of them say something, like, ‘uh oh’. They ceased talking/whispering for a whole minute and then promptly started again.

Even though I had the perfect seat in the perfect row with literally no one anywhere near me prior to these two rude individuals arriving, I decided to pick up my stuff and simply move two rows up and all the way to the left. In other words, I did my best to get out of ear shot of them.

For the most part, it did the trick, although I could still hear them whispering here and there. At this point, though, they were far enough away that I couldn’t actually make out what they were saying and so my brain treated them more like white noise. They did talk, though, through the entire film. I simply don’t understand it.

I’m not entirely sure how we went from being a society that overemphasized the respecting of manners to this, a society that can’t even comprehend that some people actually go to the movies to, well, watch and pay attention to the movie. What happened to common courtesy? How did we become this? Is it a growing ADD population? Is it too much pressure and stress on our daily lives? Is it the overstimulation of too many electronic devices and such? I remember when I landed at Heathrow Airport in London a couple of years ago and I was walking down the ramp away from the plane. I suddenly heard someone singing, no, almost screaming/singing at the top of their lungs, and I couldn’t figure what it was all about. Was it normal in London that people sang in terminals? A couple seconds later, I found that it was one of the passengers on our plane who was wearing an IPOD, just belting out a song as she walked. Huh? How is this now acceptable behavior? I mean, do you really think everyone wants to hear you sing acapella to whatever it is that you’re listening to? I just don’t get it.

Let me put it this way: if I hadn’t gotten up and moved, the whole movie would have been ruined. The whole point to watching movies like this is to veg out, become one with the film, allow yourself and your emotions to be swept away into the story, and open up your heart and mind to the scenarios in the plot and on the screen. This is what movie watching is. This is why someone like me becomes the movie fanatic that I am.

However, later on, I thought about my decision. Why did I have to move? I was there first, after all. I waited the longest. I wasn’t the one doing anything disturbing to anyone else…so why did I move? Why didn’t I, for example, turn around and ask these two women to be quiet? Or, worse yet, why didn’t I make a scene? I could have easily gotten up, turned around, and yelled, “Would you two stupid idiots shut the hell up!!!!” I most certainly wanted to…and yet I didn’t. Was I wimping out? I thought of a whole slew of things that I could have done or said, mostly rude, mind you. So, why didn’t I?

I thought about this for quite some time later in the evening and I realized something very important but also very simple: the reason I was there was to enjoy myself and watch this movie…nothing else. So many people these days, I think at least, would do exactly the opposite; they would cause a scene. But what does it get you? Would you enjoy the film afterwards? Would causing a scene give you some strange satisfaction?

I thought about the various kinds of things that occur on a daily basis, things like road rage, scenes that are caused in public places, customers complaining in full dramatic style, etc. It seems to me that our society has some sick fascination and drive with trying to “teach” or tell the person that we feel is in the wrong that they’re wrong. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I just wanted to teach them a lesson!” Maybe I’m weird but it just seems to me that this is bizarre behavior. Who I am to teach these two women a “lesson”, and better yet, what actual lesson would I really be teaching them, other than I’m as big of a jerk as they both are? Furthermore, how could I guarantee that they would learn anything at all? And how would that help me, the guy who just wants to watch a movie in peace?

We most certainly live in an angry society at times and it just seems to me that too many people are out to try and teach other’s a lesson when often times the best response is to be selfish and find your own happiness, whatever that is, as quickly and quietly as possible. Call me silly but I think the world would be a better place with this as our mantra.

In the end, I watched and enjoyed the film without being disturbed. I’m not a wimp for not confronting them. I think I won.

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