A Wish

I've pretty much had the same wish for the past 20+ years of my life and that is to suddenly come into enough money so that I no longer have to work a day job.  Now, I could go into that in gory detail but I won't.  I've always hoped for a rich aunt or uncle who somehow is smiling down upon me without my knowing it, suddenly writing me into their will and I inherit a small lump sum of cash, just enough to live comfortably.  The other option, of course, is to win big in something like the lottery, or in San Diego we have the annual Ronald McDonald Dream House raffle of which I contribute to every year.  Just for the record, I would NOT take the house; I'm more than content to stay exactly where I am and instead pay off my debts.

It should be said that I've never won anything in my life.  Nothing.  Zippo.  I don't even think I've won something like $20; it's almost absurd.  However, for things you don't want, I seem to have a bit of luck in that arena.  Hmph.  Therefore, I don't have much hope for the winning part.  Hell, I've been entering Sweetwater Sound raffles for 2 decades now and I've never even won a pack of guitar strings.  I just have no luck at all.

As for the rich aunt or uncle, well, I don't have one of those either.  In fact, all of my aunts and uncles have passed and they barely even acknowledged my existence at times (a whole different story there).  And so, my wish I think has fallen on deaf ears all the way around and I'm most likely proverbially screwed.

I would like to add, though, I don't have this wish because I either want to live a lavish lifestyle nor am I lazy and don't want to work.  In fact, I've always had this wish for the exact opposite reason; I just want to focus on my arts, and yes, I use that word plural because IF I had the time I'd be branched out probably in about 4-6 different directions.  I would dare say that I'd be just as busy if I was working a day job and quite possibly even busier.  I have sooooo many ideas that it's ridiculous; the problem is I have so very little spare time.

This leads me to a phenomenon that I've personally never understood.  In talking to people in the workplace over the years, when I've mentioned I've love 3-4 weeks off at a time rather than the ridiculous one week, I have often heard, "oh, well, you'd get bored.  I know I get bored being at home with the kids.  I look forward to going back to work usually."  Yes, this puzzles me beyond belief, and if this doesn't say something about what's wrong with society then, well, I don't what does.  Let me tell you super straight forward - this would not happen in my case, in fact it's physically impossible, in my eyes.

I don't think I've personally been truly "bored" in about 15+ years.  In fact, since life feels like it moves at a faster speed year after year, I have felt for some time like I'm on an unwilling roller coaster ride where the mechanism just keeps speeding up over and over even though I keep waving frantically to the operator to slow it down.  I don't remember what being "bored" felt like, it's been that long.  Now, that's not to say that I haven't had small moments of physical boredom, mind you, but it really has been at least 2 decades since I had to sit around and give it serious thought as to what I should be doing at that very moment.  In fact, my todo list is so incredibly long that if written out on paper it would probably cover the entire state of Rhode Island.

Let's be honest - life isn't great these days.  We're all going through some version(s) of tough times but one thing I always say...the answer to most people's issues is getting a hobby, and I mean one that actually really encompasses your time.  I think most people would seriously be more content if they had something that they really cared about to focus on, and of course that comes in a variety of flavors.  In my viewpoint, actual "boredom" is a bit of an enemy of human existence since we all want to feel useful on some level.  I can tell you firsthand that without my artistic endeavors I would probably perish because it's the only thing really in life that makes me feel like "me" and fulfilled as a person.  I simply can't stress this enough.

Having said all of that, if anyone would like to leave me a lump sum of money out of the kindness of their hearts so that I could explore these endeavors, I can only say that I'd put it to good use and try to make the best art possible.  I would most certainly write a huge 'thank you' to you in whatever art I created, and if so desired, hell, I'll even write you a song...just say the word.  Or, if you prefer, I'll make a film about you...it's your choice.  Since that probably won't ever happen, though, I'll make do with the chaos of living at least dual lives on a daily basis, probably until I drop from pure exhaustion.  I've never gotten much financial support in my life so I probably would be completely dumbfounded by it anyway, and I haven't exactly been brimming over with moral support either.  It's been a tough ride.

Now, if only I could ever take a real vacation...but that's another story as well.

Be Kind to your Fellow Artist

Times change, of course, with new levels of technology and ways of behaving being introduced into our lives constantly, and due to that the ripple effect tends to make an impact across most of our daily lives in ways we can't even foresee.  One thing that shouldn't really change, though, is the basic human desire and need for communication...and yet it has.

One thing that always stands out and irks me in modern life is the idea of "ghosting" someone.  This is fascinating albeit in a very negative way.  I've never understood it personally and strangely most people who tend to do this activity use the excuse of "...I don't have time for...".  Ironically, I probably have less time than they do and yet it doesn't take that long to simply give someone an answer on something or have a bit of a discussion where needed.  Still, this does seem to be a lost art.  Ghosting also seems to be a thing whether it's someone you barely know or a friend of 10+ years.

When it comes to art, one area that I advise not ghosting is with your fellow artist(s).  If you happen to know someone who is an artist type, say musical or film or a writer, etc., and if they so choose to share their work with you, you should absolutely a) make it a priority to check it out in a timely manner and b) respond back to the artist in one fashion or another.  I mean, this kind of seems like a no brainer, right?  The truth here is that the artist has put countless hours of their time and effort into their creation and apparently they think highly enough of you, the person they're sharing it with, so it's really not something to ignore.

I recently had an incident where someone was asking for me to share some of my not yet "hardened" work with them, something I usually don't really like to do for the obvious reasons.  Still, I obliged due to the request, shared the links, and...well, dead silence...and ultimately no response.  So, what's the big deal, you ask?  Well, no one had actually heard this material yet and now the very first person that did disappeared and didn't feel the need for any sort of response.  This of course triggers a series of unnecessary internal responses, such as 1) second guessing myself and the new material and 2) not feeling the greatest in general.  Yes, no joke...this still happens...even hundreds of songs later.  It's called being human, I think.

Whether I like it or not, this inevitably makes me start wondering if said person didn't like the song, but if so then why?  Well, there's no answer, of course, because there was no answer.  Or, was it something else?  Hmm.  As you can see, this is a lot of wasted energy that's brought about by someone else's lack of consideration, to be frank, and nothing to do with me personally.  Luckily, I'm experienced enough (aka old) to be able to talk myself off of my own ledge.  It also leaves me rather inclined to raise two middle fingers towards said individual.

I know we live in an age where especially younger folk think that "ghosting" is not just easier but completely appropriate.  Well, let me tell you...it's not.  In fact, it's things like that which have been bringing our society down all around us for years now.  So please, stop contributing to the problem and, er, do the right thing....for it's everyone's responsibility, whether you think so or not, to be decent to those around you.  After all, that is the simplest task we can do and it actually doesn't take that much effort.

I know we're all guilty of forgetting to follow up in a timely manner with someone, myself included, at one point or another.  Again, it's called being human and being caught up in this lunacy that we tend to call "life", and it's okay to an extent.  Still, let's collectively do what we can to be kind to one another.  I think we need that more now than ever.

Let's Face It - Movie Theaters are Doomed

I keep hearing the annoying question all the time about "what do we have to do to get people back in the theaters", and "...the film industry is in trouble...", "...this is a crisis...", and so on.  These questions are always strangely posed as a consumer related issue, and whereas I don't disagree that there are certainly problems, I'm not sure the consumer is solely to blame.

I just came from a movie theater for the first time since before COVID and I'll tell you this...I don't plan on returning.  Seeing a movie in a theater, specifically a mega plex, meaning an AMC or Regal, etc. is just the biggest pile of you know what ever.  Why on Earth would I WANT to do this on a regular basis??

Here, let me explain.  First off, you have to reserve a seat, of course.  Why?  Beats the hell out of me because 50% of the time I arrive and some dufus is either sitting in my seat or like tonight they take the seat literally right next to me while the entire rest of the row is empty.  I mean, seriously?  And so, I end up sitting in a different seat...so why did I reserve a seat again?  Not sure.

Next, I had the pleasure of sitting through 35 minutes of commercials, AMC pat on the back reels (talking about how amazing their theater was...wow), and the most god awful movie previews ever imagined (I actually thought 2 of them were a practical joke).  The scheduled time of the film was 7:45pm; it finally started at 8:20pm.  What was the win here exactly?  Nothing, because none of it was anything but complete torture, marketing, and just to be clear...when I watch a film at home, um, the film starts when I intend to watch it and press 'play'.

Then, there's the seat itself.  You know, these supposedly comfy reclining chairs?  If you ask me, they're gross (always strangely warm) and just kind of ridiculous but honestly they're the least of my complaints in the grand scheme.  However, if I want the seating to resemble something from my living room, then why not just actually BE in my living room?!  Hmm.

And so, to the film industry, I am going to give you the SECRET to resolving your movie going problems and ongoing questions.  If you really want to solve the movie theater going problem, you should:

1) Go back to the old movie theater format.  Please tear down all the mega plexes and never, I repeat never, build another.  At the most, a theater should show 4 movies in 4 different theaters all of the relative same size.  Preferably, movies should be shown in the old preserved theaters that are still standing, making absolutely no need for any goofy new theaters.

2) Get rid of reserved seating.  No one likes it and it simply has no purpose except for being a pain in the *ss, requiring people to purchase tickets online, jump through a bunch of hoops, and so on.

3) Stop trying to entice the masses with offering alcohol, wider food menus, and the idiotic "we'll deliver it to your seat" idea that tonight's theater had.  If you can't handle getting your popcorn on the way in, it must not be very important to you so please do without.

4) Stop making everything a touchless and digital experience.  If I'm going to a theater, believe it or not I actually want a little bit of human interaction on some level here and there.

5) And, last but certainly not least, and this one is not to be missed...  Above all...start focusing on making intellectually stimulating, interesting, daring, and overall creative films again.  Stop the nonsense; stop the dumbing down of plots; stop the pointless action films; stop the never ending idiotic sequels; stop trying to turn films into an amusement park ride experience; and for god sake's stop the super heroes already.  Hire real writers who actually have ideas and who can actually write a script.  Then, allow directors and film makers to do what they do best - create art.  Period.  Yes, it's really that simple.  "If you build it, they will come".  Let's not forget those immortal words...ironically taken from a film, of course.

The film I saw tonight was beyond awful ("The Shrouds") but only made worse by the entire AMC Theater experience.  It also set me back about $40 for one person including the so-so popcorn and medium drink.  The mass exodus out of the theater really isn't only about the money, though.  There's simply nothing appealing about the experience and that's exactly the problem.  Change it already.

Of course, there IS ownership on the audiences as well.  We need to put the damn phones down, start paying attention, start being courteous to one another, and start allowing art to flow through us again for without it we're becoming a mere shell of what we once were, in fact we're moving closer and closer to looking like the very AI we all fear.  At this rate, AI will be more real than us.  Scary.

  

We're Being Invaded by...Bunnies?

Something very strange is hitting the internet this year and it's something I can't really get my head around.  Maybe it's just me (probably not) but almost everywhere I turn online I'm seeing this:

I mean...wtf?!  It's some bizarre ad for a "robot bunny", apparently "taking the internet by storm" or so they claim.  Um...huh??  I mean, why?!

I've said this countless times before but I'll say it again:  at times like this, I don't feel like I'm a human being nor of this planet.  For example, I can tell you firsthand that I have absolutely, positively, without any doubt in my life no reason or desire at all to have a robot bunny crawling around my house.  In fact, the mere concept of it boggles my brain.  Why would ANYONE want a robot bunny doing a limp hop throughout their home?!

Yeah, sure, it's Spring...Easter is on the near horizon, and so on, but how in the hell does that equate to a robot bunny?  In my head at least, "Spring != Robot Bunny", to put it in technical terms, nor do I see how that equation is changed to a positive for anyone.  Ah, but then again, this leads me to my other old rant about none other than marketing, something that I've simply never understood...ever.

Going back to my comment about not feeling human, I'll openly admit that I often hum or sing along to various ditties from commercials, etc., and may even say something akin to the fact that I really like a specific commercial or presentation.  What I don't do because of this, however, is buy the actual product...unless I'm already buying the product, if you know what I mean.  To be even more blunt, half the time I know the song/ditty really well but have no clue what the product actually is or what it's for.  In other words, marketing for the most part simply doesn't work on me nor do I think it ever really has except for possibly when I was really young, like pre 20's.  Ever since then, however, I simply feel rather immune to it and often wonder why companies waste the money.

It's then that it hits me...SOMEBODY is  buying the product due to these stupid commercials, right?  I mean, if no one bought it, they wouldn't advertise!  So, bringing this back to the bunny above, some damn fool out there is clicking on this idiotic looking robot bunny and then possibly purchasing it.  Why you ask?  Beats the living sh*t out of me.  All I can tell you, though, is that if YOU'RE that person, well, you're ruining it for all of us since we all now have to suffer from watching this goofy little yellow bunny hoppin' around on our screens.  Also, just for the record, I'm not sure bunnies actually come in the color yellow either - sorry, I just needed to throw that in there as well.

Seriously, folks, we need to wise up as a population and stop the madness.  There have been a lot of proposed boycotts lately but how about we all just agree at the very least to boycott the robot bunny?!  Ah, that would be a dream most certainly.

They're Coming for your Keys

Let's be honest:  lots of things in our day to day lives have been under attack for awhile now.  Why?  Well, there are various reasons, some I think fairly misguided but with good intent, but sometimes I can't even wrap my head around what could possibly be the gain.  Even better, it's hard to know the 'who' and the 'when' behind the attack, and so we're all basically becoming completely paranoid 100% of the time that some mystery person(s) is going to jump on us at any moment from anywhere and for any reason.  It's kind of akin to one of my cats that's always on guard, as if some mystery animal is going to fall from the sky, perhaps by parachute, at any given moment simply with the intent to scare the living hell out of her.  Yes, it's exactly like that, actually.

So, what now, right?  It's the CTRL key.  Yes, you read that correctly...the damn CTRL key, the one on the right side of your keyboard, to be specific.  If you're like me and aren't regularly subscribed to the latest keyboard related news (and why would you be...that's quite a question in itself), you won't learn of this bizarre attack until you purchase a new, say, laptop in particular, and you'll go to do something akin to a CTRL 'A'  or a CTRL 'C' and find, low and behold, there's no CTRL key to do this with.  Yes, that's right, it's been 'repurposed', now with that annoying little Microsoft CoPilot icon, their latest invention that they're pushing on us in every new version of Windows, um, without asking us, of course.

So, then, how do you do a CTRL 'C' exactly?  Well, I guess they expect you to stray from standard typing and do it all on one hand in 2 separate annoying keystrokes...OR...right click the mouse in about 3 keystrokes.  Makes sense, huh?!  Let's slow down all productivity so that we all have access to this annoying new 'feature' that at least most of us a) didn't ask for and b) are desperately trying to remove off of our taskbars in the first place.  Wow.  Yes, this IS the world we live in now, sad to say.  We've finally become a nation of "please, break everything that's currently working more than adequately".  Hmm.

Now, there are apparently work arounds, one being installing some new program called Microsoft PowerToys.  Yes, you read that correctly...PowerToys.  I know what you're thinking, and I know exactly what that name made me think of.  Hah hah.  I can only imagine this was the developer's personal inside joke, not unlike the old "Little Mermaid" phallic symbol on the VHS tape cover ploy by a disgruntled employee.  The bad news is that the PowerToys workaround is not working on my laptop, and did I mention that this is my work laptop?!  Yes, that makes it even worse considering I use the right CTRL button about a thousand times a day in my work life.  I mean, I use the left CTRL key way less than the right one...couldn't you guys at least take that one instead??  Can we at least negotiate which key on my keyboard you will needlessly hold hostage?!  That'll probably be next,  you know...where you'll have to pay a ransom fee to get access to the keys you're used to.

And so, the moral of the story is that truly nothing is apparently safe anymore, and my cat had the right idea all along, waiting for the mystery parachute animal to fall at any second.  I've always said you can learn a lot from animals...so there.

Who passed the gas?!

For years, I've heard about the warnings behind propane and gas grills  I mean, I've been using gas grills since I was about 14 years old and have never had a problem.  I simply thought the dangers were overly exaggerated.  Well, I guess not.

The gas grill I have now was left by the previous owner of the house.  It's basically a huge grill, way larger than I would ever need, and because of that it of course sucks up the propane like a thirsty camel in the desert.  As an added bonus, upon moving in and first opening the grill, there was the lovely surprise of an entire family of rats living literally inside the grill, with them scattering in terror upon lifting the lid.  I had been wondering where that strange odor was coming from and...well...er...

In any event, the grill got cleaned, etc., and I've been using it off and on ever since.  For such a large grill, something that is built in to some concrete and tile and was probably fairly expensive, it's bloody awful.  In fact, it works way worse than any of the Weber's I've owned and I can only chalk it up to the enormous size of it.  It's one of those things where nothing ever cooks even close to evenly on the thing, almost to a maddening degree.  It also takes forever for it reach its ideal temperature.

I've taken to cooking pizzas on the grill, though, and it's become a favorite thing of mine.  For whatever reason, though, this particular day about 2 months ago the grill wouldn't light.  This was a first.  Now, I've always gone against the grain and lit the grill with the lid down.  I know, I know...they say DON'T do this.  Yeah, whatever, pish tosh.  So, again, I'm clicking the igniter and nothing's happening.  I was a bit tired that day so I kind of had a lapse in judgement, where I silently thought to myself, hey, did I forget to open the propane spigot?  Weird.

Well, no sooner had I convinced myself that might be the case, after a little bit of time, I decided to push the igniter again.  It was like in slow motion...where as my finger was slowly pushing the trigger, my brain was saying "...but you did turn the gas on...and it's been pouring into the lid for the past 45 sec...".  And that's when I had fully pushed the igniter.

WHOOOSH!!!  No kidding, the lid literally flew open like Arnold Schwarznegger had pulled it with all his might, and also all the smaller doors in the back and front blew out equally loudly.  For a moment, I thought I was in "Christmas Vacation", when the uncle lights his stogey at the Christmas tree and burns both his coat and his toupee.  The kaboom noise was beyond belief, especially since all the doors are pretty heavy, and I stood there and let out a very loud "Aaaaaahhhhh!"

My first thought was...am I on fire?!  Nope, I seemed okay.  Did I lose any limbs?!  Nope, they're all there.  Actually, I think I'm alright.  What about the house?!  Is IT on fire?!  Nope, it's okay.  In fact, the only damage seemed to be the doors and the lid blowing up with such tremendous force.  Wow.  Let's just say I was extremely lucky for once.  I also looked around sheepishly.  Had any of my neighbors seen me do this?  Nope, I don't think.  Nice.

After collecting myself, I continued on and placed the cooking stone on the grill, and so on, although slightly shaking still.  I felt like a total idiot.  What was I thinking?!  Geez.

And so, yes, apparently all those warnings about the gas grills, propane, gas, etc., is real.  It's no joke so take it seriously.  Meanwhile, I still light the grill with the lid closed...I'm just more careful now.  Some people never learn ;)

Why Post?!

There are many things in modern society that I could rant about for hours upon hours but one that never ceases to burn my proverbial arse is the classic user review.  I'm referring to pretty much any user review at this point, whether it be a product on Amazon or a restaurant/food establishment on GoogleMaps, or even a product on, say, Macys.com.  It really doesn't matter where it is these days; it's all completely pointless.

I mean, why do we DO this?!  It's all so very confusing.  Let's think about this historically, mind you.  I think the whole reason the user review began was to give businesses a chance to have regular folk speak out about products that they love or don't really love rather than having professional paid writers/reviewers do it, probably with a percentage of them being slipped a dollar or two to lean one way or the other.  That's how it started, I think.

Like many decent ideas, this has completely gone astray.  These days, you have people with absolutely no idea what they're talking about whatsoever saying "this is the greatest" and then you purchase said product and you're like, um, this is bloody awful.  So, what's the point?  I know, you're going to say "it's all a matter of opinion".  Is it though?  I would argue 'no'.

For example, this has been a long standing argument in the film category for decades, where one person says film A is better than film B.  Sure, this is where subjectivity comes in...provided that the person(s) doing the talking has actually some knowledge about film ('...knowledge', you say?  What's that?!).  Have you ever been in a conversation with two 10 year olds arguing over which cartoon is better?!  That's what it's like.  If you have no knowledge on said topic, you can't possibly defend your position.  This is one area where user reviews have really failed for any Joe Schmoe can leave a review and have absolutely zero clue about what they're saying, and you, the reader, don't really have any idea if the source is trustworthy.  Ah, but it says 5 stars, right?!  It HAS to be good!

Another major failure is that the paid reviewers actually knew how to write and use grammar, etc.  Wow, that's really gone out the window, hasn't it?  Ugh.  Some argue that language skills are overrated and unimportant (all that matters is math, right??) but I would still say that without communication you might have the greatest ideas in the world but no one will ever know about them if you can't share that info.

And then, lastly, user reviews can fall into the category of "business wars", where people have a weird biased competitive liking of a certain business so they'll post over bloated reviews just to pump up sales and state their opinion.  Even worse, the business itself will have their friends and family post bloated reviews just so they show up higher in the lists, or purposely post negative reviews about other businesses to try and drag them down.  I also can't fail to mention the most bizarre of the user review...the one that is reviewing, say, the material on a CD or album and instead it's talking about how the UPS man delivered the product 2 days late.  Stranger even yet, there's also the occurrence where the category could be about a movie and the reviewer is instead talking about a video game.  It's all very puzzling.

I think there's only one thing to do, really, and that is to completely nix the user review idea and (gulp) go back to professional reviewers.  Having said that, we do need to put regulations into place so that businesses can't pay to inflate their sales but we've really no other choice.  The way things are, there's a billion tons of data out there for us to peruse; unfortunately, it's 90% garbage.